“Let’s play!”: Interacting with your baby

Watch what catches your baby's attention. What are they interested in? What do they do? This is their “serve”. 

Being attentive is more about “being with” your baby, than “doing something” for them or to them. To be attentive, watch your baby and think about what they may be thinking or feeling.

Focus on the ways they could be trying to tell you something – they might be:

• making eye contact or looking away
• smiling or grimacing
• looking away or looking towards you
• having tension in their bodies or seeming relaxed

Encourage your baby by showing you are interested in them. You can “return” their gesture by:

• using positive words
• changing facial expressions
• changing your tone of voice

For example, you could smile at them, and name what they have just done - “Look at you, you’re wriggling your fingers!”.

Babies love looking at faces and hearing voices. Interacting with them helps you to feel connected to each other.

After you have interacted with them, give them time to respond to you by pausing and watching them.

These pauses help your baby to notice that they are being listened to and that their noises are important. Encourage them to make more noises over time. 

Once they do something in response, you can respond again. This is called a 'serve' and 'return' conversation. You can do the same thing as last time, or something different.

This back and forth helps them to make language connections in their brain and to learn about emotions. Think about trying turn-taking with your baby. If you can make it playful, your baby will love this even more.

Babies can't hold their attention for as long as adults can. They will need breaks when interacting with you. Signals they may be becoming disinterested and need a break include:

• turning away
• arching their back
• seeming tense or disinterested

Follow their lead and show you are paying attention to them by being able to pause or stop, if needed and do something different. This teaches them that how they feel matters, and is important to you.